This past week, I completely failed at my resolution/goal/thing. You know, the one to write every day? The one I didn’t even make (to loose weight) is going quite well. But, the one I care about more than the poofiness of my belly isn’t happening.
In my defense, school started this past week. I’m only taking 12 hours, too. That’s the least amount of hours I have ever taken in college. Already I’m having little anxiety attacks over the looming homework. I have to be an actual ‘leader’ in Business Leadership and seriously go out of my home to do social things. I’m a God damn follower people! A God damn follower with a social anxiety disorder! I swear, they plan on killing me.
The total writing amount for this past week probably added up to about an hour. I feel like a failure on it. After all, I want to be an author. Not only that, a full time author. Yet I can’t even write when life gets slightly hectic. So, right now as I go through random anxiety attacks and depression because my dreams temporarily are exploding in my face, I will decide that it’s not the end. One week of failure isn’t the end.
”Let me let you in on a little secret. When you are learning to write, you are going to suck. You are going to suck a lot. You’re just going to keep sucking for a while, and feel like you’re sucking, and actually that’s a sign that you’re completely on the right path.” – Maureen Johnson
I’m not sure if failing to write counts as sucking at writing, but the quote gives me hope. I give myself permission to suck.