To Girls – A Breathing Problem

This is my message to all girls – myself included. It’s kind of a scolding to myself, but I’m sure others need to hear it as well.




“No duh, Natalie…” You’re probably thinking. “I’d be dead if I wasn’t breathing.”

I mean breathe and calm down. Are you stressed out over your parents being idiots (ME!) or because your boyfriend isn’t texting? BREATHE.

As you probably guessed from the second part of that sentence, I forgot to breathe for a while. I don’t suggest that practice. It not only hurts yourself, but it hurts those around you. My boyfriend, as you can also guess by that part of the sentence, got the blunt end of it. But I think I caught my breathing problem on time.

Oh my I hope so…

The shortest way to tell that story is this; I’m turning 20. My friends are beginning to get engaged and they haven’t been dating nearly as long as us. I’ve been with him for 2 years. My home life has officially deteriorated into nothing. Grooming school was five days a week, from 8-5, and then I worked 5 days a week 5:30-10. Basically, I had no life for a few months. At all. 

I freaked out. Many many times. If he wasn’t texting, I’d worry a lot. If he wasn’t wanting to come see me that day as I hoped he would, I’d have a breakdown. We don’t live very close to each other. We live a good 45 minutes away from each other, and with gas prices and full time jobs it’s not as easy as ‘Come over and see me!’

And I know this.

I really, really need to start breathing and avoiding the clingy nature I grew accustomed to in the past few months of insane business.


Breathe, self.

Breathe, other girls.

Because you know you’ve done this. Or started doing it. Or narrowly avoided doing it. Or are an amazing person I envy who didn’t get anywhere near it…


Help? Any supporting advice on how to change that insane clinging feeling I get? And how to help my marriage clock in my female mind to remember I’m not ready to get married yet?

Because I love this man way too much to hurt him that way. And it hurt me too. And I figured it out (hey, anxiety attacks apparently are good for something!) before it got too far. Neither of us really realized what happened until it hurt started to hurt.


She’s Back!

I mean the title in countless ways. I am back. In all ways, shapes, and forms. I’ve grown a lot since I started this blog, and a lot even since my last post.

A lot.

I’m not going to go into any of that. Let’s go into a quick update so people who actually read this don’t get too terribly confused.

I’m a dog groomer now!


Yes, I am a full blown dog groomer now. I graduated school for it on the 1st. I’m still an author, and still write every waking moment. But I also groom dogs, get bit by dogs, and pick dog hair out of my fingers for a living. It’s quite thrilling, really.

Since the last post a put up, I moved in with my mother, brought my black cat (Sophie) with me,


got a dog (April),


Went to Colorado,



Fixed things with the love of my life,




And became much happier with myself and the direction my life is taking me. 


Now, hopefully I will be returning more often. Especially with Nanowrimo in full swing. I apologize for being gone for so long, but trust me; you didn’t want to be here for all of that. I promise.