Unaccomplished

You know the times when you feel as though you haven’t accomplished anything in your life? The days when you sit in the chair in tears because you can’t come up with a single thing that you have completed that would be considered meaningful.
A couple weeks ago was the end of a long month of feelings like that. I was in a nearly constant state of depression because of it. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t come up with one meaningful thing that I had accomplished.
My amazing boyfriend did his best to help me through that, but like most people he eventually gave up on that and told me the truth; that I was being a big crybaby.
Which is true.
Think about it, each and every one of us has done something meaningful in our lives. Whether it’s good or bad, there has been something you have done for, or to, someone that helped them to remember you forever.
It might have been something as simple as holding the door open for someone, or giving them a hug when they were sad. Or, it could have been something big like publishing a best selling novel and being able to make a living.
Today, I just wanted to say to everyone reading this that you have done something in your life. It may not look big on paper, but it was big to someone, and that’s what matters.

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Home Is Where the Heart Is

I used to be what I considered a kind of hermit. I didn’t like people, and would hardly leave my room for much of anything. Even food was often forgotten. Looking back, I think it was some kind of teenage phase. Now, it’s quite strange to be able to stand people and occasionally want to go see them.

I used to think that nowhere else could be like the home I grew up in. That nowhere else would make me feel nearly as safe and protected. Then the divorce hit my family like a bunch of trolls storming the house and I learned a lot about what makes a house a home.

The saying ‘home is where the heart is’ is definitely true. I feel safe whenever I’m with the one I call my heart. It doesn’t matter where it is. The only physical place that I consider home though, is my car. Perhaps that’s because it’s actually mine and I know I won’t lose it. (Knock on wood!)

I have learned that home is not a  physical place anyway. Humans have an instinct to begin their own families. It’s okay for the home you grow up in to no longer feel like home. It’s part of growing up, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Summer…No!

Because I am an odd person who doesn’t watch the news, I check my weather and anything else TV related online. While doing that today, weather.com kindly told me there were some statistics on the snowiest city in the country. Of course, I had to click it.

I got the answer I had been sure I would. My dear Oklahoma doesn’t have any cities that make it onto the list. Instead, the list contained Chicago, and other places up north. At least some state is having a winter of some kind…

Okie land has some crazy weather. We get some part of every natural disaster I can think of except for Typhoons. We get blizzards that have more ice than snow, ice storms, earthquakes, the tail ends of hurricanes, and tornados. Many, many tornados. After all, we are Tornado Alley.

Crazy weather or not, the past two winters have been completely irritating. If I can go outside without a jacket in January, I’m not so happy. The past few summers have also been awful. 125 degrees? NO. Just… no. When people are dying because their innards get too hot, it’s just plain too hot.

I like the cold. Not just my Okie version of cold, I like decent colds. Like Minnesota’s. Even though it’s been a while since I’ve been up there for hunting season. I love the tornados I experience every year and the quaint atmosphere OKC has, but I would move someplace colder in a heart beat.

Because what winter we get here is almost over, I’m beginning to get nervous again. Walmart is already selling swimwear and the air conditioning is frequently used in my car.

I don’t think I could survive another record breaking, drought bringing, freakishly hot summer. Regardless, I’m stuck here for a while longer.

Whatever summer we are destined to get, it will be here soon.